wow, just wow.
i’m so undeserved of HIS GREAT LOVE.
while i was off wallowing in my “poor me–we-don’t-have-a-house” mentality,
literally tearing up at every turn–
feeling completely lost and discouraged,
God was orchestrating His perfect plan and timing for our hearts’ first choice.
and because i want to look back on this moment and remember it well, i’m going to type my sobbing prayer when i heard the news that House #2 was back on the market and almost guaranteed to be ours:
Oh, God, You are so good and faithful. But, you were good even when I was frustrated and doubting your faithfulness–when there was NO house in sight. You were good when I was feeling overwhelmed and forgotten. You were good when I wanted to try and “fix it” all on my own strength. You were good and patient with me to hand it all over to Your will. You waited….until I really did. Not just said it, but in my heart, gave it up to You. Why is that so hard for me to do? Surrendering, when you think about it logically, makes so much more sense. Of course an all-knowing, all-powerful Creator of the World can solve my problem better than a measly little human. So, why is that SO hard for me? Lord, help me to throw off that old way of thinking, of trying to control and construct my world around my own wants and desires. Lord, help me to have faith…..Thank you for showing me your overwhelming Love for even me, a full-time sinner and doubter. YOU ARE GOOD. More of You and less of Me, please.
In your son’s name I pray,