my favorite houses to visit.

my favorite houses to visit are the ones that have toys on the floor, picture frames slightly askew, cheerio crumbs collecting around the table pedestal, and nothing too expensive for my kids to break.

why then, do i feel this incessant need to have my house spic and span and magazine ready before someone can come over?

it’s like a sickness, really.  i feel the panic coming, rush around like a mad woman, and then probably yell a few words to my kids and husband to “hurry up” or “stop making more of a mess.”   and for what?

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the problem with always appearing to have your house “together,” is that it reduces the chances that people will feel comfortable just popping in and actually will deter some people from even wanting to suggest the possibility.  that’s basically the complete opposite of how i want to be.   i certainly have friends that i would never call and ask to stop in because i know that it would cause way more stress for them than i would ever want to impose.   i know that, because that is  how i would feel.   the whole thing also has me wondering about how the “hurry-and-clean-up-your-room-because-’blank’-is-coming-over” is affecting my kids’ attitudes about hospitality.  i’m sure the answer isn’t a good one.

plus, let’s face it—we’re only scrubbing and perfecting to try and convince everyone else that we’ve got everything under control–news flash:  we don’t.  i don’t.  my house might as well reflect that, because grace is for us all….,

even ourselves.

so to help me get over this crazy quirk, i challenge you, friends and family, call me and pop by, frequently.  i need the practice of letting the perfection image go by the wayside.  plus, i just want to see you and hear your hearts and not think twice about the dust on my bedroom side table (you know you have it too).  come on over!

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what about you?  do you prefer visiting your friends’ houses that are “perfect and inspirational” or those that are “real” to their life?


  1. Well, you would be very comfortable in my house! And is it just me or is the master bedroom the dustiest room in the house? What’s up with that? I totally agree with you on all this. But I will also say that I am really working on simplifying (getting rid of stuff) and keeping things tidier because a messy house makes me crabby and stressed out! Oh if only I could achieve a balance between “order” and “perfection”…

  2. I never thought about what message I would be giving to my kids about hospitality when I stress out when unexpected visits come over. It totally makes sense. I tell you though, it seems like the mess just never ends. Just when I think I have it all cleaned up and under control, I turn around and there’s a new found mess in the living room!

  3. Your grandmother taught me not to fret about having your house spic and span everytime someone came to the door. I am thankful….yes, my kids still think I am ridiculous when I say we should pick up the basement or vacuum the floors because we are having company, but I feel that I was taught young that it wasn’t the most important thing. Also, for years we hosted a weekly small group in our home and while I tried to have it picked up so no one would trip on their way in the door and everyone had a place to sit, I just couldn’t always get dinner dishes put away and have everything lookin picture perfect by the time they arrived. This helped me learn contentment and that others really didn’t care how my house looked. Good thoughts, Andi!

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